Why must I always?

Why must I always study?
Cause I'm not ready?
Am I in a hurry?
To complete the last years of adolescence
Secured with the message
That I am in first place?

Why must I always use a schedule?
Cause I'm not reliable?
Am I that undisciplined?
To complete my important tasks
Yet still remain flexible
Without being slave to a bell?

Why must I always worry?
Cause the future is always blurry?
Am I so scared?
To complete a simple task
And recognize my ability
To be truly independent?

Why must I always use a pattern?
Cause I'm not sure how to flatter?
Am I creative enough?
To complete my life goals
And stay true to myself
Without being a cliche?

Why must I always write poems?
Cause I'm not really broken?
Am I so tapped out?
To complete no songs for two years
because poetry is easier
than finding the right tune?

Why must I always doubt myself?
Cause I'm not up high on a shelf?
Am I willing to accept change?
To complete my happiness
Because new passions can arise
And sometimes we need to move on?

But have I really changed?
I'm still forcing myself into patterns
into schedules
into insane goals
pretending my passions wouldn't have a chance
But I'm breaking the rules
And the old me would never
break the continuum of a poem.