I'm sure there were loud screams
Coming out of her mouth
When I gave my sister her first bath
I'm sure there was soap and warm water
Covering her in a tub
But I'm not sure
It's all black tinged in my mind
My almost three year old brain didn't focus
On any other details
Not focused again until
It's a hot summer day in
my striking pink corvette
only four though I feel
like so much more when
I meet my first friend
Not focused again until
Otter pops, one a day
Sticky hands, sticky day, playing cops and robbers
Lighting off fireworks
In the street, popping in the blackness
Nighttime still light, eyes rubbed red from battles previously fought
Not focused again until
Loud bustling bumper cars in bright colors
Desire to crash, fear of impact
Fear to fall off the boardwalk along the beach
Seaside, rolling waves, sand
Everywhere, my toes, my swimsuit, my hotdog and s'mores
Not focused again until
Clanking nickels and number calling
The glares, the consequence of beating
The old nursing home ladies with their hearing aids
Where we eat our pinwheels and mint chocolate ice cream
Sit in great grandpa's chair so calm and happy
Not focused again until
The hissing air of blowing up the bed
Lights from the bridge keeping me up but really
An excuse to read all those classics
In the little bookshelf, on the yellow walls
Of my grandparents house
Not focused again until
The wet grass soaking my shoes while
We pace with each other, talking, imagining
Our game, the four of us best friends always
Playing, creating more, taking on more roles only
Waiting for the bell to ring and end our fun
Not focused again until
The crunch of gravel, cementing the feeling
Of the first day of middle school, truly
Realizing that only three of us will be there
One in another school just waiting
To be united again
Not focused again until
High heels too tall, tripping and
Recovering last minute making it a more
Memorable 8th grade graduation than
The speech and solos I performed causing
A surge of relief of moving on
Not focused again until
Three months in and
I’m staring at the wall
Of my freshman health class
The impact of high school
Only just then taking its hold
Not focused again until
My hands are on the wheel
Of my car where tears
Stream down my face in
The hot weather of my
Last day of sophmore year
Unfocused again
Will probably stay
Until the realization hits
That life is real
And I am not
Only a dreamer lost in a deep sleep
Lately bookish items have been on my mind. My sister asked me why on earth I wanted all these book related things such as t-shirts; Funko pops, jewelry, pins, artwork. The majority of them are useless aside from t-shirts and jewelry. Last thing I need is another mug or bedspread, but that isn't stopping me from desperately wanting them with them quote "Ignite my love, Ignite" (From the Shatter Me series, I love Warner!) I have no idea why I want these awesome items that don't do much, but I really really do! I have a whole collection of Funko pops that are so totally adorable! I also get so many cool bookish items from my owlcrate box that I don't need, but are really fun! I find it kind of funny that we crave these totally worthless things because they are cute or cool. For example I spent a bunch of money on my shadowhunters taro cards. I have never used them for anything other than put them in the case on my bookshelf, yet I have no regret in buying them. Of course in order to not go broke I am not allowing myself to buy anymore bookish items outside my owlcrate box. I have been contemplating making my own bookish items. It isn't very hard to use sharpie on a mug or fabric markers on a t-shirt. I already make my own jewelry so it wouldn't be hard to expand. There is some sort of extreme satisfaction in buying these things. Maybe I just have a shopping addiction, who knows. I just need to make sure I don't blow my college fund on a mortal instruments themed room! If you have any DIY ideas for bookish items comment below and share them! If I like it I will give a tutorial and a rating on my blog! Happy Reading! 
